If you have ever been in love, and in a relationship, then you know this question well… And yes, even if you are confident in your other half, you have surely already asked yourself “is she faithful?”. Let me tell you how people come to be unfaithful (I'll give you the hidden reasons) and what are the warning signs you may notice before you become the victim of a deception case.
The Beginning: Why Do People Deceive?
Let me tell you that there are no simple answers at all, but a multitude of answers that will not necessarily be related. The deep motivations of each individual are different. I was able to observe, in the student environment, for example, many friends (girl as well as a boy) who cheated without really attaching importance to it. Some guys just had too many fantasies and desire that they couldn't fulfill with their girlfriends. That's why they went so far as to date and go out with escort girl Montpellier … Anyway, I'm going to show you that there are many more reasons to cheat than you think (even if none justifies taking action).
The desire to broaden one's horizons
First, the most common reason I have observed in my life is the desire for variety. And not necessarily sexually, in fact, the desire can come from a desire for change. We want to change conversations, environment, entourage… We simply want to receive what we deem impossible to receive from our current partner. In fact, imagine that you are in the working life, you are independent: CDI, apartment, car. Your girlfriend is a student. She only works on weekends, to raise some money to finance her studies. And in the evening, she comes home tired from having to concentrate all day, and she goes to bed as soon as possible. On Fridays, while you are eager to stay awake all night, she only wants one thing: sleep.
The deadly sin that leads to deception (no, it's not lust!)
The reason mentioned by all women: anger or revenge. So we get to the heart of the matter. I have always hated hearing that because for me this motif is completely silly. But in fact, I recently heard a story that I'm going to share with you: let's take the example we were talking about above. You discover that your girlfriend has been cheating on you behind your back for months. In the evening, coming home from school, it is 8 p.m. Oddly, she finishes class at 5:00 p.m., and you obviously find it a bit suspicious, but she always has good reasons for her late arrival: “I went to have a coffee with my friends at Starbucks after class”… “I am stayed in the library for a while to revise ”. Then one day, she doesn't come home altogether. She warns you that she is sleeping with a friend because she has to revise for her exam the next day. You rationalize by telling yourself that indeed, you know her friend and that she will not lie to you… And there, it is the tragedy: you finally discover the truth. Shaking you open the video your friend sends you on Snapchat, he tells you that a girl who looks a lot like your girlfriend was in a nightclub the night before, and he saw her on her arm, sticking out and even kissing a guy other than you.
In the video, there is no doubt that she is your girlfriend. In her best outfit, and with worked makeup. She got on her 31 ... For another man. There, a feeling of rage invades you and rises in you. I can largely understand that people feel so bad that they seek to cheat in return.
The number 1 cause of deception in men (or not): Sexual desire.
This one is the best known. The one that, for the common people, is the most widespread, if not the only reason for deception. And that's why this article exists elsewhere: sexual desire is far from being the only cause of deception. But we can understand it: being in a relationship does not mean that you can no longer find people other than your partner, to your liking ... And therefore, that your desire is not limited to one person. It makes sense, but yet, that doesn't mean you will necessarily take action. So, before taking action, let me say a word to you ...
My friend advice
From my experience, it is generally the men, rather popular or in an environment full of opportunities (to understand: an environment filled with women) who will have this kind of desire. So if you are a man, and you feel the urge, see the need to have sex with different partners: talk to your partner. An open relationship would be a good compromise. Believe me: open conversation will resolve your situation, and even though there may be conflict, and your other half rejects you, it is 1000 times better than the permanent hurt of concealed deception.
Men and women, unequal in the face of deception?
To end this short text, I would say this to you: deception has long been associated with men. Socially, it's more acceptable to cheat as a man than as a woman (the fault of machismo). But above all, it is believed that sexual desire is the only reason for deception so that it is only masculine. However, this is totally wrong. A 2017 study shows that 57% of men and 54% of women admit to having cheated in one or more of their relationships. If the causes may be different (sexual desire in men, the search for an intimate connection in women), the ratios are similar.
So no, men don't necessarily cheat more than women. It's just that they talk about it more easily because it's more socially accepted.